Delusional Hell :: System Crash

DISJOINTED MUSINGS

9.12.2006

Just got through pruning my more silly entries, as well as my more profanity-filled ones from when I'm angry. Those kinds of posts will be limited to my Livejournal, so if you know where it is then good for you! You get to see my at my worst >_>

Anyway, I was assigned to job hunt like a sonofabitch today, and that's what I've been doing. Looks as if the Laff Stop is hiring for waitresses (which I have about three years experience doing), the Museum of Fine Arts Houston is looking for a buttload of people (one I'm looking at is a sales associate/ cashier position), and there was a website development position that was a limited number of hours and only for three weeks (a project) but anything is better than nothing at this point and it's something I at least have SOME casual experience with (over seven years now).

I've also been looking at HCC and AI Houston for their courses and reading up on financial aid and scholarship programs. God, my dip in grades in high school really depress me ~_~ I went from a 4.95 GPA to a 2.6 in my Sophomore year because I was pulled out of school due to emotional problems and because I was frequently being beaten up by ignorant post-Puritan Christians for being a "witch". I managed to get it back up to a 3.9-something, but my SAT scores were less than stellar due to my poor Algebra skills and not having the written portion of my test counted in my grade. If I'd had the written portion counted, I'd have passed with a much higher grade rather than a 645...

Yeah. It's depressing.

I really want a job. I'm sick of feeling so incredibly useless in this damn house, and I'm sick of not being able to help Tony make monthly expenses. I'm tired of having such a low self-esteem and self-confidence. I'm tired of being yelled at and made to feel stupid. I really want to change how my life is going, I'm just terrified of failing even more. I'm sick of letting people down. I'm sick of letting myself down.

Christ, I sound pathetic.

I'm off. Gonna go job hunt a bit more around where Tony works. Ciao.

0 voices in my head

Delivered at 4:44 PM;

9.11.2006

To all you jackoffs who are upset with me because I'm not posting some memorial bullshit about 9/11, you can all just kiss my ass and get over yourselves. I have better things to do than mourn over something that happened so long ago. Sure it was a tragedy, but we've moved on since then. Our president is still as braindead redneck as ever and everyone hates America. Whoop-de-shit. As if this is anything new.

Instead, I'd like to wish two friends of mine a happy birthday. They were both born on Sept. 11th and they are both good (if somewhat odd and unique) people. Most Virgos are (*chuckle*). So, happy birthday Spellman and Sn00. I love you both <3 class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">"I was weak. That is why I needed you...Thus, I wished for your existance..."
James Sunderland, Silent Hill 2

0 voices in my head

Delivered at 4:37 PM;

ABOUT ME

Name: Sarabeth Collins
Age: 23
Email: administration@bloodandsteel.net